Walking away

There comes a time when you have to decide that what's best is to walk away.  There's no sense trying to fight it. Sometimes it is better to just throw in the towel.  I don't know why throwing in the towel has such a bad rap, it shouldn't. Sometimes it is the smartest thing to do.

It's been a bad year

It seems as though it will continue.....  I have had the worst headache of my life for the past two weeks.  I could probably attribute it to stress, but school is over now and all I really have to do is take my registry in a little over  a week.  Yes, that is a bit stressful, but not SUPER stressful.  This headache has been constant.... hasn't gone away and stays in the exact same spot behind my head.  I could probably deal with it, but then other things started happening too..... I was driving home from the supermarket and all of a sudden I couldn't see everything that I knew was in front of me.  Like I knew there was a car in front of me, but parts of it were missing... blacked out....  it lasted for like 45 minutes.  This past Sunday, after working out in the backyard, I came in and sat down and all of a sudden there were these strange wavy circles floating around.... wouldn't go away for about 30 minutes.  My face goes numb too....   so it all became too much for me, I broke down and went to the Dr.  I now have to go on Wednesday to have an MRI of my brain.  The Dr wants to rule out MS and a tumor..... so now I am a little more stressed out. When I look into MS symptoms, I have some pretty major ones, especially when I take into account that I already have an autoimmune disorder and the fact that I test positive for EBV antibodies. There are other things too that I would rather not divulge right now.  SO I will just have to wait and see.  I am going to get a copy of the MRI as well, but I really don't want to wait for a long time to figure this out.

All I really want is to get a job in radiography.  I feel  guilty for not working for the past few years.  granted I was going to school and i hope that that wasn't a waste of time.  I just want to work.  I want to feel relevant again, I want to earn money. It is so suffocating to not earn my own money or contribute to the household financially.

There was also more family drama, and I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I thought things could move forward, but it is hard to do when you are not dealing with rational people. It's disappointing overall.