Kinda losing it

My little man has been sick this past week. Not anything major.... at least I don't know much right now... he tested positive for strep throat last Sunday, started taking antibiotics and wasn't getting better, so they changed the antibiotic to a stronger one, and it seemed to be doing the trick until this morning. Ethan woke up with a rash all over from his head to mid thigh.... it's not getting better, it's getting worse... and I'm kinda freaking out right now. I just went to check on him and his face is just completely red with just a few white spots, his trunk is covered, arms covered with a nasty, angry rash. Benadryl isn't touching this rash at all. It was itching a bit tonight so I put something all over his chest. He's sleeping now, and has been sleeping for a while.... it just breaks my heart to see something wrong with him. I feel helpless.  There is nothing worse than feeling helpless. I can really see why people would turn to religion when they feel this way, because at least that way you can feel like you are doing something, even though you really aren't, it's just a placebo....No-one wants to feel helpless, like something is out of their control. Everyone wants to feel some semblance of control, and right now... I feel helpless and in control of nothing. Something is at war with one of the loves of my life and I can't do anything but wait... and watch...