Guilt

I don't know why my brother's death seems to be affecting me more than I would have thought it should.  I mean, honestly, I haven't seen him in maybe 25 or so years.... I have these memories of him when we visited Germany, he was always really happy. He liked to pick my nose... that'a a silly thing to remember. I feel that sometimes I feel other people's pain too much. Somehow I can kind of put myself in their shoes too much. I can't say that I have ever been right about how people feel, but I can imagine the pain that Peter was in. His mother left him as a child to go off with a man to another country.  Even if it was his decision to stay, I couldn't imagine having my mother leave me... then to find your grandmother, who raised you, dead on the kitchen floor.... marriage, 2 kids, divorce... then to find out that your mother had a sister that she gave up and you never knew about.  That your mother was pregnant and she hid it from everyone and then gave birth in secret and just gave the baby away....and then to finally hear that your mother died... that's a lot... a lot for any one person to go through. Mentally taxing